I made it to 23! haha I feel like such an old man already bah!
Portland is snowed in like no other, leaving me alone in my apt. which is whateverrr..but still kinda lame! I'm going to save most of you the time of reading a long blog and make you watch a long video one instead haha
Original Video - More videos at TinyPic
thank you to all that said happy bday to me!
:]
Tuesday, December 23, 2008
Monday, December 15, 2008
Snow Snow Snow!
So it's been snowing hardcore in Portland for the last day or so, which would be rad, except its fucking up my finals schedule and has me barred in doors. It also closed down a lot of stores, including the one I work at, so NO MONEY FOR ME. >:[
Anywho, my cousin who was in town left back to the east coast on Sunday, but my mama and him came up this Sat and brought me some goodies haha
yay!
Ear muffs and some sort of mens shaving products haha I got some gloves as well! I also chopped a lot of my hair off haha :p
Any who, I did another little runway thing for my friends over at Frank James! I'm not sure when photos will be up of that, but i'll make sure to post them when I find and nab them bahahaha
On another note! I finished a lil experimental film I was making, I'm not sure how I feel about it yet, hmm anywho..here ya go! Feedback is always nice :D
I got some inspiration from Chris Markers "La Jetee", but is also a bit about how I got into punk music when I was a kid.
Its supposed to go along the lines of a young man who is disillusioned with life, and his continuous everyday routine. One day on his way to another day of work, his car won't start. He moves on and decides to walk. Along the path he finds a box labeled, "Free Stuff" in which he finds a CD. Upon listening to it, he goes through a transition or "Awakening" into his true and better self.
Yay, hope everyone else out there is haven a good week!
Ciao!
Anywho, my cousin who was in town left back to the east coast on Sunday, but my mama and him came up this Sat and brought me some goodies haha
yay!
Ear muffs and some sort of mens shaving products haha I got some gloves as well! I also chopped a lot of my hair off haha :p
Any who, I did another little runway thing for my friends over at Frank James! I'm not sure when photos will be up of that, but i'll make sure to post them when I find and nab them bahahaha
On another note! I finished a lil experimental film I was making, I'm not sure how I feel about it yet, hmm anywho..here ya go! Feedback is always nice :D
I got some inspiration from Chris Markers "La Jetee", but is also a bit about how I got into punk music when I was a kid.
Its supposed to go along the lines of a young man who is disillusioned with life, and his continuous everyday routine. One day on his way to another day of work, his car won't start. He moves on and decides to walk. Along the path he finds a box labeled, "Free Stuff" in which he finds a CD. Upon listening to it, he goes through a transition or "Awakening" into his true and better self.
Yay, hope everyone else out there is haven a good week!
Ciao!
Tuesday, December 9, 2008
Mi Famlia, Mi Madre
For as long as I can remember, well so far as my formative ages go, it has always been just me and my mother. People I think feel sorry for me at times because I didn't have a father to really teach me how to be a "man", but never the less it wasn't needed, my mother was always just there in both respects.
I am almost 23 but feel older, I think those that grow up with just a mother in their lives tend to force themselves into a seriousness that is expressed in the face, and most tend to become writers, artists or dramatics. For me I am a wanting film maker, so its simply normal in my situation.
Sometimes I think I am afraid to meet him face to face again, see how he's aged, is that what i'll look like when I'm older? I've been told we are the spitting image of each other. It also makes me think of what it might be like for my mother, seeing me day to day, growing into more of his image, seeing his face in mine and his smile in my laughter. Was she angry? Did she feel resentment towards me? I would like to think so, he certainly was no prince charming. Regardless, her self sacrifices are acts to prove that despite of what he did, I am my own re-established person and thus should be molded in a new fashion, a better fashion, her image.
I would like to think I have the strength in me to do some of the things my mother has done, her life reads like a story book, while mine looks like a blurred mirage of drunken weekends, one night stands, over embellished high school romances that broke my view of forming a meaningful relationship with anyone. I really have become like both my mother and father in certain respects, I am perfectly happy growing older alone with no real place to call home just like her and did my past of wildness like him.
Not to say that my mother is happy being alone, I can see how heart broken she is being half a world away from her own mother.
The things parents do to make sure kids can go on just out stands me, how anyone can be so neglecting of their own lives for another. However, I guess thats just it. When you have a child you no longer live for you, but for another human being and thats how your life will be until you die.
Its a matter of age and relevance, in ten years i am sure my perspective will have changed.
The hardest part of studying human emotion to capture it accurately on film is having to dwelve into your own demons, past and hidden secrets which hurt and bring back things i spent years trying to forget. I guess understanding the pain will make me a better film maker, but for now, it's just making me cry.
I am almost 23 but feel older, I think those that grow up with just a mother in their lives tend to force themselves into a seriousness that is expressed in the face, and most tend to become writers, artists or dramatics. For me I am a wanting film maker, so its simply normal in my situation.
Sometimes I think I am afraid to meet him face to face again, see how he's aged, is that what i'll look like when I'm older? I've been told we are the spitting image of each other. It also makes me think of what it might be like for my mother, seeing me day to day, growing into more of his image, seeing his face in mine and his smile in my laughter. Was she angry? Did she feel resentment towards me? I would like to think so, he certainly was no prince charming. Regardless, her self sacrifices are acts to prove that despite of what he did, I am my own re-established person and thus should be molded in a new fashion, a better fashion, her image.
I would like to think I have the strength in me to do some of the things my mother has done, her life reads like a story book, while mine looks like a blurred mirage of drunken weekends, one night stands, over embellished high school romances that broke my view of forming a meaningful relationship with anyone. I really have become like both my mother and father in certain respects, I am perfectly happy growing older alone with no real place to call home just like her and did my past of wildness like him.
Not to say that my mother is happy being alone, I can see how heart broken she is being half a world away from her own mother.
The things parents do to make sure kids can go on just out stands me, how anyone can be so neglecting of their own lives for another. However, I guess thats just it. When you have a child you no longer live for you, but for another human being and thats how your life will be until you die.
Its a matter of age and relevance, in ten years i am sure my perspective will have changed.
The hardest part of studying human emotion to capture it accurately on film is having to dwelve into your own demons, past and hidden secrets which hurt and bring back things i spent years trying to forget. I guess understanding the pain will make me a better film maker, but for now, it's just making me cry.
Tuesday, November 25, 2008
Thanks giving :]
Well it's almost time again for thanks giving and I am more than excited to nom nom nom on some awesome food! This year is particularly different in the sense that it will be the first time I will have a thanks giving with another family member besides my mother! haha
It's certainly been awhile since posting on this, and its mostly because school and work has kept me busy. I keep getting distracted though, mostly feel like i should be done with school by now, or i dunno, just totally frustrated with how hard it is to just make a project. I feel like creating a production company just so i can get my school work done and not have to play all the rolls myself! haha
Speaking of roles, i saw that new movie "twilight" the other day with my friend Caity. I was mostly curious because my friend Alex is in and i wanted to see him haha.
what else, oh! back to thanksgiving. I was standing, waiting for the street car to come one day before class and this older african american female asked for some help picking up some papers she dropped. For some reason or another she felt obliged to ask me if I had some where to be this thanks giving, i said probably just head home with my mom. However, she offered me an option just in case I was stuck with no where to go and didn't want to be alone.
she handed me this lil piece of paper with all sorts of scribbles and doodles and an adress for a shelter at some christian church haha I thought it was very thoughtful and nice of her.
lets see, oh also this Sat I am going to do some runway for my friends over at rock'n rose again! haha they pay me in drinks and food and clothes, awesome right? I am by far any type of model, but its for friends so why not!
check it out if you can:
and woo! yea schools hard but ok, work is getting old, but ok and my relationship status? haha that's a whole other story, not to say im in some complicated love triangle, its actually the total opposite, i apparently can't find anyone in oregon, several in other states and countries (damn you myspace) but nothing here in Portland. I know they are here though, just gotta keep the chin up and hopes high! haha
i am hoping to blog more a lil later, but finals are coming up so chances are i'll be out of it for a few weeks, so hold tight phantom readers haha
:]
It's certainly been awhile since posting on this, and its mostly because school and work has kept me busy. I keep getting distracted though, mostly feel like i should be done with school by now, or i dunno, just totally frustrated with how hard it is to just make a project. I feel like creating a production company just so i can get my school work done and not have to play all the rolls myself! haha
Speaking of roles, i saw that new movie "twilight" the other day with my friend Caity. I was mostly curious because my friend Alex is in and i wanted to see him haha.
what else, oh! back to thanksgiving. I was standing, waiting for the street car to come one day before class and this older african american female asked for some help picking up some papers she dropped. For some reason or another she felt obliged to ask me if I had some where to be this thanks giving, i said probably just head home with my mom. However, she offered me an option just in case I was stuck with no where to go and didn't want to be alone.
she handed me this lil piece of paper with all sorts of scribbles and doodles and an adress for a shelter at some christian church haha I thought it was very thoughtful and nice of her.
lets see, oh also this Sat I am going to do some runway for my friends over at rock'n rose again! haha they pay me in drinks and food and clothes, awesome right? I am by far any type of model, but its for friends so why not!
check it out if you can:
and woo! yea schools hard but ok, work is getting old, but ok and my relationship status? haha that's a whole other story, not to say im in some complicated love triangle, its actually the total opposite, i apparently can't find anyone in oregon, several in other states and countries (damn you myspace) but nothing here in Portland. I know they are here though, just gotta keep the chin up and hopes high! haha
i am hoping to blog more a lil later, but finals are coming up so chances are i'll be out of it for a few weeks, so hold tight phantom readers haha
:]
Monday, November 10, 2008
Portland is a mess
A hot one that is!
It's been awhile since I have posted cause life has just been so darn busy! School and h/w is kicking my ass per usual, however I did find time to go out and make a short video for my friends at our local party Hot Mess, people assume we don't get super crazy in Portland...but you better believe we throw down harder than most.
Check it out!
On other fronts, I am broke broke broke. Which leads me to the bad news, recall about a few weeks ago I mentioned possibly going to New York, about 90-95% sure...well that 10-5% got me haha
My car needed to be fixed, so I take it in, thinking oh it shouldn't be more than a couple hundred bucks at the most, well it turned out to be a cool $1,200 bucks :[
So I had to get my moms help, plus I had to pay rent, so thus the money she was going to use for my birthday / xmas trip to nyc went into my car! Sad, sad day.
Well new york city will always be there, being able to get around is more important, for the time being...that trip is on the back burner.
hmmm, time to get back to h/w and another grinding day. I have a new short film project in mind which will roughly be done in about 6 weeks, keep an eye out :]
ciao.
It's been awhile since I have posted cause life has just been so darn busy! School and h/w is kicking my ass per usual, however I did find time to go out and make a short video for my friends at our local party Hot Mess, people assume we don't get super crazy in Portland...but you better believe we throw down harder than most.
Check it out!
On other fronts, I am broke broke broke. Which leads me to the bad news, recall about a few weeks ago I mentioned possibly going to New York, about 90-95% sure...well that 10-5% got me haha
My car needed to be fixed, so I take it in, thinking oh it shouldn't be more than a couple hundred bucks at the most, well it turned out to be a cool $1,200 bucks :[
So I had to get my moms help, plus I had to pay rent, so thus the money she was going to use for my birthday / xmas trip to nyc went into my car! Sad, sad day.
Well new york city will always be there, being able to get around is more important, for the time being...that trip is on the back burner.
hmmm, time to get back to h/w and another grinding day. I have a new short film project in mind which will roughly be done in about 6 weeks, keep an eye out :]
ciao.
Wednesday, November 5, 2008
Branded
I shot this with the concept in mind of hearing stories behind physical scars, I did my best with my limited crew of well just me and my friends carrying equipment haha
Like in anything you can tweek and poke at a project for hours, but I only had a week.
let me know thoughts, comments, etc all are welcome :]
Like in anything you can tweek and poke at a project for hours, but I only had a week.
let me know thoughts, comments, etc all are welcome :]
A new beginning
Last night was by far one of the most exciting nights of my life, I am not alone when i say this. All through out the day i read countless bulletins and comments from youth all over telling people to vote, and vote for CHANGE. It's amazing what this one man Obama did as far as bringing people together from all aspects of this countries society. The outcome was JUST and people felt vindicated, for the first time in a long time, America made the right choice.
For example, this is the first thing I read this morning, and not once have I read people feel good about this country, ever, especially youth. Not even after the 2004 elections did I see people going out trying to bring change. This quote I think is a good sum up of what I am talking about.
"I've never liked America as a few of you already know, since i wasn't born here and not raised here- even though i have american citizenship from my father..
I always thought people were lame, ignorant, and naive here.
But after last night...and after seeing the wonderful man Obama..
I HAVE HOPE
In my lifetime, i have never experienced a real leader...never felt safe in this country, never felt excited for change..
I feel soooo blessed to see change occur...to see history take place right in front of my very own eyes..
God Bless Obama..
and God Bless America."
I havn't seen this kind of outbreak after in election in my life time.
In Portland, I could hear through my window fireworks, car horns, people screaming and cheering for hours after the election ended.
My generation has had its big moment, and not just because we elected a black president, but because we elected someone who will bring about positivity and good.
Obama, don't let us down.
Sunday, November 2, 2008
I belong to the blank generation
From my last post about art, its meaning, my place, and where does it go? Mr. Wilde was right, all art really is quite useless.
However, I believe for me its more of a feeling that there is no more ideals of a counterculture, a feel for underground unity, maybe I am just in the wrong location, not generation. Like every good thing that starts with a good base, it will eventually be sucked into this capitalistic society, so essentially, ideas will be profited from no matter what, such a pity.
Now I would like to go on a small rant about things that annoy me, feel free to skip over this, or read it, it's just something I do.
1. It annoys me when people advertise their "photo shoots" on myspace when in reality its just pictures they took of themselves in their parents bathroom. Please, this is not a photo shoot, so stop saying it is.
2. Speaking of photo shoots, I have a grudge with Modelmayhem.com I have an account as a photographer I made there like over a year ago when I needed some extra bucks. Listen here ladies, modeling is not you in your under ware or totally naked, this is called soft core porn. So please, you covering your breasts at an awkward angle with a glamor shots type of background is NOT modeling. thank you.
3. Retail would be a really rad gig if it just wasn't for all the fucking customers.
OK, moving on !
My cousin was in town this weekend! We went out and ran around the city, got drinks, I blacked out and ate a hot dog on the way home, he drank too much and throw up in the middle of the street.
I love halloween :]
last: FUCKING VOTE! DO IT!
thank you.
Friday, October 31, 2008
Sex Beat....go!
So its been some days since a new post on here, mostly because school is kicking my ass, selling it for trade, buying it back for a lower whole sale value then forcing me to invest in it. Did that make sense? No? Oh wells.
It's funny, when I sit in class and listen to all my peers, like all my fellow "artists" it seems like we all have it in our heads that our art will eventually change the world. I think our generation is wanting to have some kind of of revolution, like the punk movement, or the beat necks, hippies, ANYTHING!
Its come to my attention that most of us were born in the wrong generation, at least I believe I was. What generation I am supposed to be in, I have no clue, I just know I don't really feel at home in this one.
hmmm, also I've been working on this short film about physical scars and the stories behind them. So far it's come out ok, the shots I really enjoy, but the time constraint is kind of haggling down my ability to tell a story fully? I dunno, its a really odd concept of how I got to it, lets just say it involves Brian Eno, Cards, "my body" and 4 days of brainstorming. ha.
I will post it once done.
In another note people constantly ask me, so what's your favorite movie? Which is hard because being a film major I have many, many! I posted these FEW FAVORITES on my myspace, but just in case here you go blog world (there are a few extra in here too):
Experimental, made in 2000
AND LAST HAPPY HALLOWEEN SUCKAZ!
It's funny, when I sit in class and listen to all my peers, like all my fellow "artists" it seems like we all have it in our heads that our art will eventually change the world. I think our generation is wanting to have some kind of of revolution, like the punk movement, or the beat necks, hippies, ANYTHING!
Its come to my attention that most of us were born in the wrong generation, at least I believe I was. What generation I am supposed to be in, I have no clue, I just know I don't really feel at home in this one.
hmmm, also I've been working on this short film about physical scars and the stories behind them. So far it's come out ok, the shots I really enjoy, but the time constraint is kind of haggling down my ability to tell a story fully? I dunno, its a really odd concept of how I got to it, lets just say it involves Brian Eno, Cards, "my body" and 4 days of brainstorming. ha.
I will post it once done.
In another note people constantly ask me, so what's your favorite movie? Which is hard because being a film major I have many, many! I posted these FEW FAVORITES on my myspace, but just in case here you go blog world (there are a few extra in here too):
Experimental, made in 2000
AND LAST HAPPY HALLOWEEN SUCKAZ!
Saturday, October 25, 2008
...and now for something completely different
Longest bloody day of my life! Oh wells, another day another dollar, right?
To begin with I give you these two videos:
http://myspacetv.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=vids.individual&videoid=45036395
http://myspacetv.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=vids.individual&videoid=45133889
mhmm
now that I have you laughing, read on!
on a similar note, my co-worker today introduced me to two websites that can kill boredom and also waste time. I give you:
www.puppywars.com
www.kittywars.com
haha alright, moving on!
I've decided to answer a few questions in this blog to start off, mostly because I noticed I had some comments, but didn't know how to respond directly to said poster, so here we go.
Kristen:
I think actually its fairly common to fret over one's love life, pretty sure nobody said there was an age limit to complain about the dating game.
It's a matter of life that only seems to get more complicated as you get older, so at least ranting about it well help me devoid myself of the stress that builds up in my brain wondering about all the idiosyncrasies of the opposite sex.
somegirlwill:
Not sure who this is! haha To be honest I don't know totally what I am holding out for, like most people I feel that I have a general knowledge of what I want in my head and when I spy it I know right away. The only problem being thus far is that it always leads to a let down of some sort, either the chemistry seems forces, or there is a distance of some kind, just random variables I try to adapt too but ultimitly give up on. Its a flaw, I know and understand this, and I am doing what I can to try and not dwell on the little things.
Zack:
My bad, on an earlier post I wrote - zackerymichael.com when in reality it is zackery "-" michael.com
Ok, so last night I went to this crazy grave yard that was full of really random tombstones, I had a blast haha It was totally lit up by the moon and the place was so packed you couldn't help but walk on graves (don't worry i payed my respects) eeep! There was also a totally black cat, which apparently is referred to as "grave yard cat" which followed us all over, kind of watching out or something, a little odd but comforting at the same time.
I am debating weather or not to go out tonight? I probably will, big cities have this strange way of lulling you out in the open at night haha This would be terribly easier if I just had someone keeping me at home.
To begin with I give you these two videos:
http://myspacetv.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=vids.individual&videoid=45036395
http://myspacetv.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=vids.individual&videoid=45133889
mhmm
now that I have you laughing, read on!
on a similar note, my co-worker today introduced me to two websites that can kill boredom and also waste time. I give you:
www.puppywars.com
www.kittywars.com
haha alright, moving on!
I've decided to answer a few questions in this blog to start off, mostly because I noticed I had some comments, but didn't know how to respond directly to said poster, so here we go.
Kristen:
I think actually its fairly common to fret over one's love life, pretty sure nobody said there was an age limit to complain about the dating game.
It's a matter of life that only seems to get more complicated as you get older, so at least ranting about it well help me devoid myself of the stress that builds up in my brain wondering about all the idiosyncrasies of the opposite sex.
somegirlwill:
Not sure who this is! haha To be honest I don't know totally what I am holding out for, like most people I feel that I have a general knowledge of what I want in my head and when I spy it I know right away. The only problem being thus far is that it always leads to a let down of some sort, either the chemistry seems forces, or there is a distance of some kind, just random variables I try to adapt too but ultimitly give up on. Its a flaw, I know and understand this, and I am doing what I can to try and not dwell on the little things.
Zack:
My bad, on an earlier post I wrote - zackerymichael.com when in reality it is zackery "-" michael.com
Ok, so last night I went to this crazy grave yard that was full of really random tombstones, I had a blast haha It was totally lit up by the moon and the place was so packed you couldn't help but walk on graves (don't worry i payed my respects) eeep! There was also a totally black cat, which apparently is referred to as "grave yard cat" which followed us all over, kind of watching out or something, a little odd but comforting at the same time.
I am debating weather or not to go out tonight? I probably will, big cities have this strange way of lulling you out in the open at night haha This would be terribly easier if I just had someone keeping me at home.
Wednesday, October 22, 2008
I've gone Wilde
The artist is the creator of beautiful things.
To reveal art and conceal the artist is art's aim.
The critic is he who can translate into another manner or a new material his impression of beautiful things.
The highest, as the lowest, form of criticism is a mode of autobiography.
Those who find ugly meanings in beautiful things are corrupt without being charming. This is a fault.
Those who find beautiful meanings in beautiful things are the cultivated. For these there is hope.
They are the elect to whom beautiful things mean only Beauty.
There is no such thing as a moral or an immoral book. Books are well written, or badly written. That is all.
The nineteenth century dislike of Realism is the rage of Caliban seeing his own face in a glass.
The nineteenth century dislike of Romanticism is the rage of Caliban not seeing his own face in a glass.
The moral life of man forms part of the subject-matter of the artist, but the morality of art consists in the perfect use of an imperfect medium.
No artist desires to prove anything. Even things that are true can be proved.
No artist has ethical sympathies. An ethical sympathy in an artist is an unpardonable mannerism of style.
No artist is ever morbid. The artist can express everything.
Thought and language are to the artist instruments of an art.
Vice and virtue are to the artist materials for an art.
From the point of view of form, the type of all the arts is the art of the musician. From the point of view of feeling, the actor's craft is the type.
All art is at once surface and symbol.
Those who go beneath the surface do so at their peril.
Those who read the symbol do so at their peril.
It is the spectator, and not life, that art really mirrors.
Diversity of opinion about a work of art shows that the work is new, complex, and vital.
When critics disagree, the artist is in accord with himself.
We can forgive a man for making a useful thing as long as he does not admire it. The only excuse for making a useless thing is that one admires it intensely.
All art is quite useless.
Ok so the days are getting colder and like much Oregon weather I'm never sure if I should be wearing a light jacket or a pea coat and scarf! It's such bizarre climate like this that makes me wonder when global warming will fully take affect and we can say good bye to humanity as a whole.
I've been working long hours on a 30 Sec experimental video in which I choose two words (cold and wet) and tried to make something out of it. It's not meant to make sense in the way of a normal story structure (most anything experimental film doesn't) so I am taking a stab at something new and seeing what happens.
In other news:
After some talks with my mother I am about 90% to 95% sure that I will get a plane ticket to NYC for my 23rd birthday this year, So I would be spending Christmas and new years 2009 over there with my best friend ZackeryMichael.com haha (you can actually follow that link, its a real website for his photo steeze).
I've also found some rather interesting videos and websites etc. The first being this one called "Mortified" which is actually fairly relevant to blogging. Did you ever as a teenager or kid write random shit that when you find today, you go, "Oh man what the fuck was wrong with me" haha Well someone took that concept and compiled all sorts of raves and rants into a book, a website and now live performance pieces, its really funny and interesting and I myself know I have some box of random love notes from high school hiding in my mothers garage somewhere. Anyhow, here is a small video from the site. You can just go directly as well here: http://www.getmortified.com/
// The Mortified Shoebox Show //
Turning to election stuff (because you should all be interested) I found this rather fun site that lets people vote for America's new president from all over the world. It's a what if kind of deal, and ironically only like 12% of the worlds vote favor McCain haha but still, its not an official poll or anything, just a concept. Feel free to see how the world feels about our elections, here: http://www.iftheworldcouldvote.com/
I also found this rather disturbing video showing off McCains temper haha kinda sp00ky!
the man is nuts.
and I leave people with this random image which I probably laughed at for a good 10 min.
hahahaaaaaaaa oh that saucy minx of a terrible terrible woman.
alright, well I am off to h/w and laundery and whatever else a fun filled Oct. evening has to offer.
To reveal art and conceal the artist is art's aim.
The critic is he who can translate into another manner or a new material his impression of beautiful things.
The highest, as the lowest, form of criticism is a mode of autobiography.
Those who find ugly meanings in beautiful things are corrupt without being charming. This is a fault.
Those who find beautiful meanings in beautiful things are the cultivated. For these there is hope.
They are the elect to whom beautiful things mean only Beauty.
There is no such thing as a moral or an immoral book. Books are well written, or badly written. That is all.
The nineteenth century dislike of Realism is the rage of Caliban seeing his own face in a glass.
The nineteenth century dislike of Romanticism is the rage of Caliban not seeing his own face in a glass.
The moral life of man forms part of the subject-matter of the artist, but the morality of art consists in the perfect use of an imperfect medium.
No artist desires to prove anything. Even things that are true can be proved.
No artist has ethical sympathies. An ethical sympathy in an artist is an unpardonable mannerism of style.
No artist is ever morbid. The artist can express everything.
Thought and language are to the artist instruments of an art.
Vice and virtue are to the artist materials for an art.
From the point of view of form, the type of all the arts is the art of the musician. From the point of view of feeling, the actor's craft is the type.
All art is at once surface and symbol.
Those who go beneath the surface do so at their peril.
Those who read the symbol do so at their peril.
It is the spectator, and not life, that art really mirrors.
Diversity of opinion about a work of art shows that the work is new, complex, and vital.
When critics disagree, the artist is in accord with himself.
We can forgive a man for making a useful thing as long as he does not admire it. The only excuse for making a useless thing is that one admires it intensely.
All art is quite useless.
Ok so the days are getting colder and like much Oregon weather I'm never sure if I should be wearing a light jacket or a pea coat and scarf! It's such bizarre climate like this that makes me wonder when global warming will fully take affect and we can say good bye to humanity as a whole.
I've been working long hours on a 30 Sec experimental video in which I choose two words (cold and wet) and tried to make something out of it. It's not meant to make sense in the way of a normal story structure (most anything experimental film doesn't) so I am taking a stab at something new and seeing what happens.
In other news:
After some talks with my mother I am about 90% to 95% sure that I will get a plane ticket to NYC for my 23rd birthday this year, So I would be spending Christmas and new years 2009 over there with my best friend ZackeryMichael.com haha (you can actually follow that link, its a real website for his photo steeze).
I've also found some rather interesting videos and websites etc. The first being this one called "Mortified" which is actually fairly relevant to blogging. Did you ever as a teenager or kid write random shit that when you find today, you go, "Oh man what the fuck was wrong with me" haha Well someone took that concept and compiled all sorts of raves and rants into a book, a website and now live performance pieces, its really funny and interesting and I myself know I have some box of random love notes from high school hiding in my mothers garage somewhere. Anyhow, here is a small video from the site. You can just go directly as well here: http://www.getmortified.com/
// The Mortified Shoebox Show //
Turning to election stuff (because you should all be interested) I found this rather fun site that lets people vote for America's new president from all over the world. It's a what if kind of deal, and ironically only like 12% of the worlds vote favor McCain haha but still, its not an official poll or anything, just a concept. Feel free to see how the world feels about our elections, here: http://www.iftheworldcouldvote.com/
I also found this rather disturbing video showing off McCains temper haha kinda sp00ky!
the man is nuts.
and I leave people with this random image which I probably laughed at for a good 10 min.
hahahaaaaaaaa oh that saucy minx of a terrible terrible woman.
alright, well I am off to h/w and laundery and whatever else a fun filled Oct. evening has to offer.
Saturday, October 18, 2008
The thing about relationships
So it's been about a year and a couple months since I was in some sort of relationship, it was a long drawn out, dramatic ending but isn't that how the good ones end?
Needless to say, I'm starting to wounder if there is really a girl in Portland that will be able to hold my attention to for longer than 3 min. Not to say the girls here are no interesting, it's more to say that I've decided to hold out for that one girl who I'm just not gonna be able to stop wondering about.
The thing is however that after a year or so of not dating you start to get anxious, like you meet a girl you remotely find interesting and next thing you know your showering them with texts or random things, then you get that anxious oh man what if she dosnt text you back feeling and then realize well she does have a life, so I can't hold it against her if I don't get texted back, right?
That being said, my tactic (even however bad I want to) is to not be all the way available (I dont mean emotionally) I mean just don't seem desperate. However that probably works like 20% of the time, here is the back lash kids.
One: You give a girl space, and she thinks you aren't interested
Two: You try and hang out as much as you can, they get spazzed and don't want you around them
Three: They make you feel awesome, so you get stoked, then realize oh shit she's like that with a lot of other guys (I'm probably here from the girl perspective haha so I can't complain about number 3)
It all probably works like this from either genders perspective, but I keep feeling that all the girls I would honestly want to date live entirely too far, either on the other side of the country, or out of the country all together. Perhaps it's some sort of pathological thing, knowing they can't just burst in on me might make them more alluring when in all reality there are perfect candidates right here in my backyard.
The major thing I get from just about every female or guy is "Wow you are friends with a lot of girls!" or "Look at all the girls your talking too". Which is fine, I'm not dumb or sneeky, I do own my myspace so I can see there are a lot of females there. The way it's said to me though is in this context of "oh you must totally be banging all of them" which is far from true. If i was, I'd probably be on Maruy right now talken about some baby daddy!
bah, its just so damn frustrating! I know what I can offer and make it available, I also know what I want from another person, so wheres the mix up in that formula? I do however have tons of pet peeves, like I hate it when people text me "how are you". Please, that's not a text message question, that's something you ask in a phone conversation, but to be honest you actually could care less how I am, you just find it polite to ask.
Anywho, here are some pics from earlier this week at that Shadow Scene event!
If you want to see more photos then go to ShadowScene.com! Hit the fiesta link and then scroll down to the pics from Portland, OR.
In other news, I think its important to make sure you go vote since the election is a mere few weeks away! I also suggest you watch this film:
I'm not super sure what else to say! haha well anyways, I am going to make dinner and then I dunno stay in, go out?, hunt a panda? Fuck, This Sat is pretty lame haha
Needless to say, I'm starting to wounder if there is really a girl in Portland that will be able to hold my attention to for longer than 3 min. Not to say the girls here are no interesting, it's more to say that I've decided to hold out for that one girl who I'm just not gonna be able to stop wondering about.
The thing is however that after a year or so of not dating you start to get anxious, like you meet a girl you remotely find interesting and next thing you know your showering them with texts or random things, then you get that anxious oh man what if she dosnt text you back feeling and then realize well she does have a life, so I can't hold it against her if I don't get texted back, right?
That being said, my tactic (even however bad I want to) is to not be all the way available (I dont mean emotionally) I mean just don't seem desperate. However that probably works like 20% of the time, here is the back lash kids.
One: You give a girl space, and she thinks you aren't interested
Two: You try and hang out as much as you can, they get spazzed and don't want you around them
Three: They make you feel awesome, so you get stoked, then realize oh shit she's like that with a lot of other guys (I'm probably here from the girl perspective haha so I can't complain about number 3)
It all probably works like this from either genders perspective, but I keep feeling that all the girls I would honestly want to date live entirely too far, either on the other side of the country, or out of the country all together. Perhaps it's some sort of pathological thing, knowing they can't just burst in on me might make them more alluring when in all reality there are perfect candidates right here in my backyard.
The major thing I get from just about every female or guy is "Wow you are friends with a lot of girls!" or "Look at all the girls your talking too". Which is fine, I'm not dumb or sneeky, I do own my myspace so I can see there are a lot of females there. The way it's said to me though is in this context of "oh you must totally be banging all of them" which is far from true. If i was, I'd probably be on Maruy right now talken about some baby daddy!
bah, its just so damn frustrating! I know what I can offer and make it available, I also know what I want from another person, so wheres the mix up in that formula? I do however have tons of pet peeves, like I hate it when people text me "how are you". Please, that's not a text message question, that's something you ask in a phone conversation, but to be honest you actually could care less how I am, you just find it polite to ask.
Anywho, here are some pics from earlier this week at that Shadow Scene event!
If you want to see more photos then go to ShadowScene.com! Hit the fiesta link and then scroll down to the pics from Portland, OR.
In other news, I think its important to make sure you go vote since the election is a mere few weeks away! I also suggest you watch this film:
I'm not super sure what else to say! haha well anyways, I am going to make dinner and then I dunno stay in, go out?, hunt a panda? Fuck, This Sat is pretty lame haha
Wednesday, October 15, 2008
Tuesday, October 14, 2008
I'M A SCENE BOY
So a few months back I did a photoshoot with Nike Asia for random ads to appear in stores. On this shoot I met a young music video director named Kurt Nishimura who had been hired to shoot Aerodrones music video for their single "scene boy".
Ironically, since Oregon really IS that small Aerodrone were home town friends of mine and now knowing the director out of the blue, I helped in being part of the shoot.
The only problem for me with the video was having to wear tons of make up, because honestly that was only a southern California scene kid trend that lasted for maybe a year back in like 2003, never the less that was the look they were going for and I was helping friends.
So after shooting all day and looking like a tranny for the sake of friendship, I give you...Scene Boi
(video can be found @ http://www.kurtnishimura.com)
haha yessssssssssss
in other news I choose to cut my own hair and well, it looks like poop haha
Ironically, since Oregon really IS that small Aerodrone were home town friends of mine and now knowing the director out of the blue, I helped in being part of the shoot.
The only problem for me with the video was having to wear tons of make up, because honestly that was only a southern California scene kid trend that lasted for maybe a year back in like 2003, never the less that was the look they were going for and I was helping friends.
So after shooting all day and looking like a tranny for the sake of friendship, I give you...Scene Boi
(video can be found @ http://www.kurtnishimura.com)
haha yessssssssssss
in other news I choose to cut my own hair and well, it looks like poop haha
Sunday, October 12, 2008
The De-evolution of man
I am not sure how to say this, but you would think that years of historical discrimination to just about any person of race, creed, sexuality, social strata has had to have had some kind of impact on today's world, right?
It's far too often that I hear some random person, generally younger, use words like "fag" or say things along the lines of "dude that's sooo gay". Not just that, I feel it's become way too much of a social norm to make jokes about race and just dozens of contradictions that some sort of modern society would at least know not to do.
Today I watched tv and saw some nut dressed up as a founding father COMPLAINING that our united states is actually not united, because people don't learn English, or that millions of migrants are shoving into our borders and devastating our economy.
THIS IS ALL BULLSHIT.
America:
Your economy is fucked because of capitalist greed, not because people are doing jobs for 2 dollars and hour and many times going un-paid because well, they are illegal, what are they going to do if I skimp out on their pay?
Seriously, think about it logically, if someone asked you to leave your home country, go to a place where the people will always look down on you because of what you look like, a place where you can't even speak the language, leave all your family behind, risk life and limb to even get into, all so you can send a few hundred a month back to your family so they can live slightly better lives in a country that has been devastated from exploitation BY THE VERY COUNTRY YOU NOW HAVE TO MOVE INTO and deal with all the shit mentioned above, would you do it?
How is it that an "illegal" can come here establish a life, a home, make money, provide for this society within weeks, all without any benefit of which they are paying for. They can't get welfare, they can't get financial aid, they can't medical benefits, fuck soon you won't be able to even get a license. While people who live here are standing on the streets begging, bitching, about it all.
You can not unite America because it is a country that has been solely founded on diversity, and the influx of people coming and going. So when shit turns bad, we all need a scapegoat, bahh.
Consequently this election for all those reasons is important, I foresee some kind of revolution outcome.
Obama wins:
Social Reform, revolution within.
He doesn't do what is promised, revolution from the people.
He is assassinated, revolution from the people!
McCain wins:
Is elected, dies not long after, Palin blows up the earth, but more likely, citizen revolt
McCain fucks up the country, we go to war with more random countries to feed America's lust for a "comfy" life and it doesn't matter how it gets there so long as we have hummers and MTV. Revolt.
Change needs to come, change needs to happen or its Europe for me, and from what I hear, at least 59% of the country.
Friday, October 10, 2008
Today I met my wife
Yes, that's correct, my future wife.
Well she lives in Japan and has entirely way too many friends on both youtube and myspace (but who am I to talk, right?) regardless she basically entraps the sarcasitc and often rude symantics of what I find attractive in the member of the opp. sex.
So future wife, without anymore taunting, I introduce you to the world.
mhmm <3
Well she lives in Japan and has entirely way too many friends on both youtube and myspace (but who am I to talk, right?) regardless she basically entraps the sarcasitc and often rude symantics of what I find attractive in the member of the opp. sex.
So future wife, without anymore taunting, I introduce you to the world.
mhmm <3
Day One
I haven't had a blog since I was in high school, you know the days of Livejournal? Well I find myself expressing random thoughts in myspace bulletins, thus I decided it was time to re-vamp my blogging daze!
Ironically, I started doing video blogs about one year ago today that had a rather small following, so I will post those videos on here, to you know, bring things semi up to date.
Here they are! Starting from when I left off till when I first started, enjoi.
Thurs. Jan. 17th, 2008
Sun. Jan. 6th, 2008
Tues. Nov. 6th, 2007
Sun. Oct. 28th, 2007
Weds. Oct. 25th, 2007
Mon. Oct. 22nd, 2007
Fri. Oct. 20th, 2007 Blog 2
Tue. Oct 16th, 2007 Blog 1
Ironically, I started doing video blogs about one year ago today that had a rather small following, so I will post those videos on here, to you know, bring things semi up to date.
Here they are! Starting from when I left off till when I first started, enjoi.
Thurs. Jan. 17th, 2008
Sun. Jan. 6th, 2008
Tues. Nov. 6th, 2007
Sun. Oct. 28th, 2007
Weds. Oct. 25th, 2007
Mon. Oct. 22nd, 2007
Fri. Oct. 20th, 2007 Blog 2
Tue. Oct 16th, 2007 Blog 1
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