I made it to 23! haha I feel like such an old man already bah!
Portland is snowed in like no other, leaving me alone in my apt. which is whateverrr..but still kinda lame! I'm going to save most of you the time of reading a long blog and make you watch a long video one instead haha
Original Video - More videos at TinyPic
thank you to all that said happy bday to me!
:]
Tuesday, December 23, 2008
Monday, December 15, 2008
Snow Snow Snow!
So it's been snowing hardcore in Portland for the last day or so, which would be rad, except its fucking up my finals schedule and has me barred in doors. It also closed down a lot of stores, including the one I work at, so NO MONEY FOR ME. >:[
Anywho, my cousin who was in town left back to the east coast on Sunday, but my mama and him came up this Sat and brought me some goodies haha
yay!
Ear muffs and some sort of mens shaving products haha I got some gloves as well! I also chopped a lot of my hair off haha :p
Any who, I did another little runway thing for my friends over at Frank James! I'm not sure when photos will be up of that, but i'll make sure to post them when I find and nab them bahahaha
On another note! I finished a lil experimental film I was making, I'm not sure how I feel about it yet, hmm anywho..here ya go! Feedback is always nice :D
I got some inspiration from Chris Markers "La Jetee", but is also a bit about how I got into punk music when I was a kid.
Its supposed to go along the lines of a young man who is disillusioned with life, and his continuous everyday routine. One day on his way to another day of work, his car won't start. He moves on and decides to walk. Along the path he finds a box labeled, "Free Stuff" in which he finds a CD. Upon listening to it, he goes through a transition or "Awakening" into his true and better self.
Yay, hope everyone else out there is haven a good week!
Ciao!
Anywho, my cousin who was in town left back to the east coast on Sunday, but my mama and him came up this Sat and brought me some goodies haha
yay!
Ear muffs and some sort of mens shaving products haha I got some gloves as well! I also chopped a lot of my hair off haha :p
Any who, I did another little runway thing for my friends over at Frank James! I'm not sure when photos will be up of that, but i'll make sure to post them when I find and nab them bahahaha
On another note! I finished a lil experimental film I was making, I'm not sure how I feel about it yet, hmm anywho..here ya go! Feedback is always nice :D
I got some inspiration from Chris Markers "La Jetee", but is also a bit about how I got into punk music when I was a kid.
Its supposed to go along the lines of a young man who is disillusioned with life, and his continuous everyday routine. One day on his way to another day of work, his car won't start. He moves on and decides to walk. Along the path he finds a box labeled, "Free Stuff" in which he finds a CD. Upon listening to it, he goes through a transition or "Awakening" into his true and better self.
Yay, hope everyone else out there is haven a good week!
Ciao!
Tuesday, December 9, 2008
Mi Famlia, Mi Madre
For as long as I can remember, well so far as my formative ages go, it has always been just me and my mother. People I think feel sorry for me at times because I didn't have a father to really teach me how to be a "man", but never the less it wasn't needed, my mother was always just there in both respects.
I am almost 23 but feel older, I think those that grow up with just a mother in their lives tend to force themselves into a seriousness that is expressed in the face, and most tend to become writers, artists or dramatics. For me I am a wanting film maker, so its simply normal in my situation.
Sometimes I think I am afraid to meet him face to face again, see how he's aged, is that what i'll look like when I'm older? I've been told we are the spitting image of each other. It also makes me think of what it might be like for my mother, seeing me day to day, growing into more of his image, seeing his face in mine and his smile in my laughter. Was she angry? Did she feel resentment towards me? I would like to think so, he certainly was no prince charming. Regardless, her self sacrifices are acts to prove that despite of what he did, I am my own re-established person and thus should be molded in a new fashion, a better fashion, her image.
I would like to think I have the strength in me to do some of the things my mother has done, her life reads like a story book, while mine looks like a blurred mirage of drunken weekends, one night stands, over embellished high school romances that broke my view of forming a meaningful relationship with anyone. I really have become like both my mother and father in certain respects, I am perfectly happy growing older alone with no real place to call home just like her and did my past of wildness like him.
Not to say that my mother is happy being alone, I can see how heart broken she is being half a world away from her own mother.
The things parents do to make sure kids can go on just out stands me, how anyone can be so neglecting of their own lives for another. However, I guess thats just it. When you have a child you no longer live for you, but for another human being and thats how your life will be until you die.
Its a matter of age and relevance, in ten years i am sure my perspective will have changed.
The hardest part of studying human emotion to capture it accurately on film is having to dwelve into your own demons, past and hidden secrets which hurt and bring back things i spent years trying to forget. I guess understanding the pain will make me a better film maker, but for now, it's just making me cry.
I am almost 23 but feel older, I think those that grow up with just a mother in their lives tend to force themselves into a seriousness that is expressed in the face, and most tend to become writers, artists or dramatics. For me I am a wanting film maker, so its simply normal in my situation.
Sometimes I think I am afraid to meet him face to face again, see how he's aged, is that what i'll look like when I'm older? I've been told we are the spitting image of each other. It also makes me think of what it might be like for my mother, seeing me day to day, growing into more of his image, seeing his face in mine and his smile in my laughter. Was she angry? Did she feel resentment towards me? I would like to think so, he certainly was no prince charming. Regardless, her self sacrifices are acts to prove that despite of what he did, I am my own re-established person and thus should be molded in a new fashion, a better fashion, her image.
I would like to think I have the strength in me to do some of the things my mother has done, her life reads like a story book, while mine looks like a blurred mirage of drunken weekends, one night stands, over embellished high school romances that broke my view of forming a meaningful relationship with anyone. I really have become like both my mother and father in certain respects, I am perfectly happy growing older alone with no real place to call home just like her and did my past of wildness like him.
Not to say that my mother is happy being alone, I can see how heart broken she is being half a world away from her own mother.
The things parents do to make sure kids can go on just out stands me, how anyone can be so neglecting of their own lives for another. However, I guess thats just it. When you have a child you no longer live for you, but for another human being and thats how your life will be until you die.
Its a matter of age and relevance, in ten years i am sure my perspective will have changed.
The hardest part of studying human emotion to capture it accurately on film is having to dwelve into your own demons, past and hidden secrets which hurt and bring back things i spent years trying to forget. I guess understanding the pain will make me a better film maker, but for now, it's just making me cry.
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